Sounds of Silence Part 2

"Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again". These are the words sung at the beginning of Simon and Garfunkle's song Sounds of Silence.

I can't really say exactly why I am so hung up lately on silence. I have noticed a restlesness within me for something different, something I can't define. I know that darkness is often associated with evil and sin, but I seem to be finding a sense of comfort sitting alone in it, listening and thinking. Asking hard questions and praying for the courage to hear the answers. I don't always like the ones that are provided. Hardest of all, is that once God answers I can no longer linger in that place of ignorance. Action is often required, but even harder, waiting is required.

My own knowledge of who I am or rather who I know myself to be, isn't really working anymore. Sometimes I feel like a fake before God. I pray, I praise, I study, I teach, but when I find myself alone with God, I struggle. Struggle to lay myself bare, to open old wounds, to feel pain so that healing can begin. And yet I can't escape the unmistakable call to come closer. So I go. I seek out silence, sometimes in the darkness, and meet Him.

The Sounds of Silence

I have found that I have increasingly grown fond of silence. No longer do I immediately turn on the radio when I enter my car, or the television when I enter the house. I find myself feeling thankful when I come home after a long day and nothing but silence greets me, or when I wake early and quietly slip out of bed eager to greet the morning in silence. I linger there listening for whispers or echos from a distance. I often hear the train whistle as it crosses the nearest roadway, or the trash truck clammering down the street. It's comforting and I am reminded of places and things outside of myself. It is here that God whispers to me and I am most overjoyed because the silence allows me to hear him so clearly.

Our lives are so full of "noise". Noise that goes far beyond the crying of the babies, horns honking, music blaring etc... We create volumes of noise within ourselves (worry, to-do-lists, etc..) that more then fill our ears and successfully distract us from hearing the whispers and the echos and the sounds of silence, and worst of all God's voice.

Let's Turn Down the Volume!!!!!!!

What About Him?

If Jesus calls to you and says, "Follow me." If he requires a sacrifice fom you in order to serve His purpose, will you turn and point to another and ask,"What about Him?"
That is exactly what Peter had done (John 21:20-21). Jesus asked him to do a few things, "feed my lambs, take care of my sheep, feed my sheep, and finally Follow Me!" Peter must have felt like he was being singled out so he looked for another to shift some of the responsibility to. Jesus' response to Peter must have stung. He said to him, "If I want him (John) to remain, what is that to you? You follow me!"
Sometimes following may seem unfair. We feel singled out or picked on. We look around or think of someone we know and find ourselves asking, "Hey! What about him?" and the response would be the same. "What business of it is of yours? It is you I am asking."
This entire dialogue between Jesus and Peter shows us that following Christ is an individual matter. He saves us individually and provides us individually with different gifts and he speaks to us and directs us individually.
Sometimes we lose sight of this and find ourselves caught up in what God's will for someone else's life is, but when it comes to the matter of doing his will, God has made it clear that we are to only answer for ourselves. We need to stop looking for equality and keep our focus on what God has called us to do.

Labels

I recently finished a book club study on grace. We used the book "In the Grip Of Grace" by Max Lucado as our focal point for discussion. In the chapter entitled "the Civil War of the Soul", the following statement stood out to me in a big way. "You are special, not because of what you do, but because of WHOSE you are. And you are HIS.
I can remember growing up how my own father always introduced us by labels. This is my athletic daughter, or here is my Honor roll daughter. I'm certain he actually attatched a name along with the label, but I don't remember. I do remember that this use of labels tended to promote dissension among my sisters and I. it didn't take us long to figure out who was dad's favorite. I remember feeling almost invisible as my achievments (or lack of them) began to shape my identity. What I really wanted was to just be introduced as "my daughter Cathy".
It is comforting to know that it is not my achievments that God measures. I am not saved because of what I do, but because of what Christ did. And I am not special because of what I do, but because of who I am. And I am HIS.